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Mar 23
Managing Anxiety in a Time of Uncertainty


twe.jpgAuthor: Georgina Barrick

 

With the arrival of Coronavirus on South African shores, panic appears to have set in. While our President showed great leadership on Sunday night, it very quickly brought the reality of the virus right to our doorstep.  The JSE has lost value. Shelves in Clicks and Dischem have been stripped of hand sanitizer, toilet paper and immune boosters and people are wearing masks and gloves in the supermarket – if they’re even venturing out.

While there is no question that the spread of Coronavirus is scary, doctors are clear that up to 80% of people infected will experience mild flu-like symptoms, feel unwell – but will recover – as my New York-based friend, who is infected, reports.

As I write, China (the epicenter of the outbreak, with over 81 000 cases and 3200 deaths) seems to be getting a handle on the disease, as is South Korea.

Yet, the uncertainty around how COVID-19 will impact growth and, most importantly, when it will end, is bringing the global economy to its knees, sending stock markets reeling on the back of fears of a prolonged economic slowdown.

 

It’s important to remember that Coronavirus is not the first event to spark widespread panic and, given human nature, it won’t be the last. Remember the scaremongering and stockpiling that took place both before South Africa’s first democratic election in 1994 and again around the Millennium, when many were worried that Y2K would bring the world to a grinding halt? Or, the SARS outbreak that was touted as the next ‘Spanish Flu’? We know that the world lived to tell the tale then – and will again now.

Yet, still we panic, driving our anxiety to unmanageable levels – and impacting our ability to make clear, focused (and often much-needed) decisions.

 

It is this aspect of the Coronavirus epidemic that, as a self-professed student of human behavior, has sparked my interest – the question of what drives normally sane, rational and measured humans to panic at the first sign of trouble and start fear-mongering and making uninformed decisions.

We know that it happens to the best of us. Some years ago, when my then-business was going through a rough patch, I tried to set up an emergency strategy session with my partner. His response was a firm ‘No’ – that he wasn’t available. Yet, 6 weeks later when things were going a lot better, he suddenly was. When I asked why the change, he told me that he’d declined the session earlier because I’d been in a state of fear, which would have negatively influenced my ability to put a plan in place. I’ve never forgotten the lesson that, when we plan from a place of abundance and love, our plans are much more open, encompassing, innovative and usually successful... In other words, when anxiety overrides thinking, our ability to make clear decisions is negatively influenced.

 

This is backed up by science.

New research suggests that anxiety impacts our brains by disengaging the pre-frontal cortex – the part of the brain that is essential for good decision-making (where we weigh up consequences, plan and process thoughts in a logical, rational way and screen out distractions or irrelevant information). When this happens, we become overwhelmed, distracted and stop thinking. Emotion takes over and logic is set aside. Bad news is magnified and any positive signs are largely ignored.

At this point, we either make the ‘safe’ choice or a quick rash decision that we’re likely to regret later. Either way, with our minds racing at a million miles an hour, we’re unable to settle on a thought easily – and, when we do, that thought is most often negative, further fueling our anxiety.

 

So, in times of great stress (COVID-19 and beyond), how can we override our anxiety to make better decisions?

 

Firstly, slow down…

Take a breath and slow down your thinking.

Very few decisions need to be made in that instant. Often, if we rush a decision, we’re doing so because we’re driven by sensationalist news, herd mentality or the belief that our thoughts, feelings and behavior are a single package. Just because we feel a certain way doesn’t mean that we have to act a certain way. Instead, we need to push against the habitual response and break the cycle by slowing the process down, being mindful and, in doing so, moving away from automatic thoughts and responses towards focusing on what is really happening and how we can best respond.

 

Then, take action…

Problems often seem insurmountable. When this happens, start small by working on one part of the problem first. Ask questions about your concerns. Find a good sounding board.

Taking action can also mean taking care of yourself. Get enough sleep. Eat well. Exercise.

Remember that you don’t need news on a continuous loop – stop reading the (negative) news. Those who get this right say that ignorance truly is bliss.

 

There’s no doubt that we’re living through one of the most uncertain (and unnerving) periods in human history. And, where in times of uncertainty, we would normally seek comfort from one another, we’re being driven apart by a virus that no-one (yet) fully understands.

Truly, this is a reminder that the illusion of control we think we have is just that – an illusion.

However, what is certain is that this too shall pass. And, when it does, we will be changed and redefined in ways that we can’t yet imagine.

I believe that the secret to coming through this time positively lies in reframing our thinking.

Keep anxiety under control. Make clear, thoughtful decisions, with the emphasis on long term strategy. Regroup, reprioritize, recharge and innovate.

I always remind myself that it is not necessarily the strongest of the species that survives, but rather, the most adaptable to change.

 

As leaders, our teams look to us for confidence and for honest, clear communication.

And, while they don’t necessarily expect us to have all the answers, they do expect us to be working on a plan for the benefit of everyone. Showing fear and despair is not going to inspire our people to be extraordinary – and now, more so than ever, we need extraordinary. Our belief in a shared vision for the benefit of humanity is critical to our continued survival.

 

Above all, remember that, as Stephen King said, ‘Panic is highly contagious, especially in situation when nothing is known and everything is in flux’

Peace and love to us all…

 

 

Feb 26
Be the Solution


Businessman with an idea Free VectorBe the Solution
Author: Georgina Barrick

A few weeks ago, I was driving to work during morning rush hour traffic.

Loadshedding had affected robots, so traffic was heavy and very slow. Tempers were frayed and drivers were becoming inconsiderate - not a great way to start the day. Along my route, I needed to cross an intersection on William Nicol Drive where 16 lanes converge – which, even on good days can take time. Yet, cars were moving because a young girl in running gear was doing a sterling job of directing traffic. She had obviously been out on her morning run, seen the traffic snarling and stepped in to help. She did this for no benefit, at considerable risk to herself and, in doing so, became part of the solution. 

Lately, I have also noticed unemployed people taking responsibility for keeping intersections clean and car guards attempting to fill potholes. Someone in my area has even put up a warning sign near a huge hole that formed after heavy rains.

For me, this is the interesting thing about South Africans. We mutter and complain but, when the chips are down, we jump in.

 

It's easy to find fault. To see problems and focus on the negative.

There's a lot of negativity, stress and pressure everywhere. It's tempting to dive right in, claim the victim role and let yourself off the hook.

It's harder to roll up your sleeves and fix the problem. To actively choose to take ownership and do something about it. To become part of the solution – and not the problem.

I firmly believe that the 'solution' space is the one that we all need to work hard to inhabit. After all, I think it's in our DNA to attitude shift, when needed, and to look at situations through a different lens.

So, how do we do this?

 

Accept responsibility and become a solution provider.

The first step in making a real difference is to move away from thinking that issues are 'someone else's problem'. Problems often arise that are not of our making, but they still affect us. And, when they do, we have a choice: Sit back and complain - or look at what action can be taken to help solve the problem.

Recently, I was chatting to one of our candidates who was complaining that her employer had no systems or processes in place in her department. I challenged her as she had not suggested, or attempted to implement, any solutions. We need to start taking responsibility and owning the solutions that we can be a part of.

Accepting responsibility opens up opportunity and creates a better future for all.

 

Be proactive.

Take time to know what you want – and then take steps to get it.

Speak up. Whether you've witnessed an injustice, are annoyed about poor service or feel that a bad decision should be challenged, don't angrily mutter about it quietly. Speak out.

Share ideas. If you believe that a process could be improved or have a solution to a tough business issue, give your feedback or input to the right people.

Volunteer. As Margaret Mead said, 'never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has'.

 

Change your mindset.

It's tough out there. But, approaching every issue as a passive bystander isn't going to make it any easier.

Negativity blocks clear thinking – which affects the quality of our decision-making. If we concentrate on being part of the solution, we open ourselves up to the positive and can access decision-making skills that aren't available when we're living in a negative state.

Simply put, focusing on the positive – on what's going right and how we can find solutions – gives us space to breathe.

 

Look at the big picture.

When we're deep-diving into negative territory, we stop seeing the wood for the trees. Our world view becomes limited and solutions seem impossible.

However, when we become future-focused, with a clear sense of where we're going, others start to buy into the big picture – and we all start moving in forward.

 

As I said at the start of this piece, it's harder to be part of the solution, to stand your ground and get your hands dirty making things right.  However, I believe that it's the only way to navigate challenges – if it causes you discomfort, get involved to fix it.

It's also a lot more rewarding when you do. I'm quite sure that the young girl directing traffic had more endorphins from the experience than she would have gained on her run, knowing how many lives she touched with her solution-orientated attitude.

Strength to us all…

 


Jan 28
Welcome to the 2020’s: The Greatest Time to be Alive

Author: Georgina Barrick

2678153.jpgFor the first time ever, I ended the year feeling slightly negative.

This is unusual for me as I generally don't do negativity. As the year turns, I'm normally upbeat and looking forward to the challenges and opportunities that a new year brings.


I even chuckled wryly at a meme that I saw which read:

Jan 1st: New decade going fairly well (all things considered)

Jan 2nd: Australia appears to be on fire

Jan 3rd: World War 3 announced

As we enter the 2020's, the news is so full of disaster and gloom that it's hard not to feel a bit anxious...

The global economy is at risk. Our planet is under severe strain (fires, flooding, plastic in our seas).

In South Africa, our flagging economy (hampered by a bloated public sector, struggling SOE's, loadshedding, the threat of land redistribution and a looming downgrade), youth unemployment, the effects of state capture, the dire state of our Education system and food security – the list seems endless.

No matter where you look, things appear getting worse. At face value, we're in rapid decline, leaving many feeling that we're definitely worse off than we've been before.  

Or are we?

 

Yes, globally and locally, we face severe challenges. And, yes, these challenges need to be acknowledged so that solutions can be found. Many will require sustained change (and bravery) to overcome. We know that we have a long road ahead of us.

And yet, herein lies the paradox…

 

In reality, we are currently living through the greatest improvement in human living standards in history. We're better off than we've ever been – not worse.

Take a moment to think about the following:

 

  • South Africa's GDP is 2.5 times the size it was in 1994.
  • Stock markets boomed in 2019 – with the S&P500 delivering gains of 28%. In the nearly 60 years between 1960 and 2019, South African markets delivered real returns of 8% - while US markets delivered 7%.
  • South African banks ranks 37th (out of 137 countries) in the World Economic Forum's Soundness of Banks index.  
  • Formal housing increased by 131% between 1997 and 2016 (albeit, I acknowledge, off a low base).
  • Between 1999 and 2016, new HIV infection rates dropped by 60%. South Africa has the largest ARV programme in the world, which has contributed to an increase in life expectancy (61.5 years (men) and 67.7 years (women) - up from 56.5 and 61.2 years in 2010).
  • According to the United Nations, an unprecedented number of people are escaping poverty, hunger and disease. In fact, the number of people globally who are living in extreme poverty fell from 18.2% to 8.6% between 2008 and 2018.
  • Incidences of malaria in Africa declined by almost 60% between 2007 and 2017.
  • A vaccine for Alzheimer's is almost ready for human trials.
  • Thanks to efforts by conservationists, the population of wild tigers in Nepal has almost doubled in the last 9 years.
  • In California, the world's smallest fox has been removed from the Endangered Species list
  • In Germany, recent figures show that more than 300 000 refuges have now found jobs.
  • The Humpback whale population is now around 25 000 (which is almost 93% of the population size before they were hunted to the brink of extinction).
  • Dolphins are breeding in the Potomac river for the first time since the 1800's.
  • In Ethiopia, 353 million trees were planted in a 12-hour period to claim a Guinness World Record.

 

I could go on …….

 

Of course, not everything is going in the right direction - but I'm a 'glass half full' kind of person.

So, how is it, with so many advances, we are fed only bad news stories?

Firstly, bad things will still happen - even as we progress globally.

Then, there's is the human phenomenon of Declinism –  the belief that society/ our country/ the world is in decline, that we're 'worse off than we've ever been' and that things are unlikely to get any better (even in the face of evidence to the contrary).

 

Declinism brings interesting psychological factors into play, like.

  • The 'Reminiscence Bump': As we age, we tend to remember our strong, vibrant youth with fondness and nostalgia, leading to a belief that the world was a better place (particularly in contrast to later life).
  • The Positivity Effect: As we get older, we remember and place more emphasis on positive emotions, over negative – the 'rose-tinted glasses' effect.
  • Negativity Bias: When our survival feels under threat in the present, we start to give more weight to negative events, overestimating current threats, while undervaluing opportunity and resources (which is why we perceive things to be worse than they've ever been).
  • Confirmation Bias: When we only seek out facts that support our preset world view, leading  us to reject anything that casts doubt on our belief and focus only on what we want the truth to be, we're guilty of confirmation bias (aka 'wishful thinking').

 

We have experienced declinism before.

Remember South Africa prior to the 1994 elections, when many were stockpiling food or packing for Perth. In America in the 1950's, the success of the Soviet's Sputnik space programme had Americans feeling that they were falling behind and currently in the UK,  a belief that the UK was being held back by Europe, led many Britons to vote for Brexit.

 

The antidote to declinism is cold hard fact, truth and making space for alternative viewpoints.

This year, I'm going to work hard to seek out alternative views, look beyond the headlines and shore up my curiosity, pragmatism and hope. I'm also going to focus on being positive because as Professor Tom Lodge once said, 'One has to be optimistic about South Africa because to be pessimistic does not bear thinking about'.

May this be a year of positive growth for us all.

 

 

 


Nov 25
Finish Strong

finish line.PNGFinish Strong

Author: Georgina Barrick

 

On Saturday, 21 September, the Springboks played their first pool stage game of the Rugby World Cup 2019 against New Zealand in Yokohama – and lost. Watching them play that critical first game, it was hard not to get despondent about their chances in the competition.

Six weeks to the day later, the Springboks powered home to beat England and lift the William Webb Ellis trophy. In doing so, they made history as the first team ever to win a Rugby World Cup after losing a pool stage game. They are also the only team to have won every final they’ve played, without conceding a try. Journalists called this ‘one of the most astonishing records in sport’…

 

I’ll admit that, after that first loss, I was very worried about the inevitable negativity that was starting to make its way into conversation.

It’s hard to beat prevailing stats. In the 11 tournaments that have taken place since 1987, no team had ever turned it around after losing in the first rounds and taken the trophy. There was nothing to suggest that the Springboks would be any different.

But, they were.

 

Instead of giving up, the team refused to let the fact that others had written them off define them.

Led by a true servant leader, this diverse group of men had a strong desire to win. They truly believed that, if they worked together, they could be victorious.

Giving up wasn’t an option. So, after that first loss, they took time to reframe the pressure they were under to achieve – and, rather, began to focus on how playing a good game of rugby could bring hope to South Africa (#StrongerTogether). They found purpose - and it was bigger than the task at hand.

In doing so, the Springboks turned what should have been an ending into an amazing beginning. They fought back – and won (to the delight of all South Africans).

 

Much has already been written about the leadership lessons that can be learned from a win like this. About how finding a shared purpose can unite a team (and a nation) and how, to win, you often have to fail first.

For me, though, what really stands out is the importance of finishing strong.

We’re heading into the final stretch of what has (for many of us) been a really challenging year.

The economy has been tough, the political landscape unnerving and the sword of downgrade remains hanging firmly over our heads.  

And, while it’s tempting to throw in the towel and start planning for 2020, the Springboks have made me realise that, even at this late stage, there is still time to finish strong.

The race is always won, not by those who try or mean well, but by those who finish.

It helps that building and sustaining momentum now is the smarter way to give 2020 a fast start.

So, how do we finish 2019 strong?  

 

Recommit (to One Goal)…

You may have started the year with many goals. Or, you may be one of those people who don’t believe in ‘goal-setting’. Regardless, pick one thing to do and see it through. Decide what you need to do to achieve this goal and give it your all.

 

Be Self-Aware…

Self-awareness can help us move from being eager starters to consistent, strong finishers.

Being self-aware allows us to identify (and focus on) our strengths, while acknowledging (and accepting) our weaknesses. Which is how goals are achieved.

To reach this point, you may need to have an honest conversation with yourself about what you have done well this year and what has been in your blind spot.

 

Take Action (Daily)…

Do something each day which moves your closer to your goal.  Move faster. Create urgency.

Make your action steps effort-driven (I will answer all email requests within an hour) rather than outcome-driven (I will improve customer service).

Evaluate how you’ve approached your goals in 2019. Explore what you’ve been doing and decide what you need to stop doing, keep doing or start doing – and implement this immediately. 

 

Set Deadlines…

If you’re anything like me, nothing gets done without a deadline as more important things always seem to crop up. So, if the work that you’re doing hasn’t been set a deadline, set an artificial one for yourself.

Deadlines get you moving.

 

Renegotiate Your Relationship with Perfect…

If you’re a Type A personality, you’ll understand the battle with perfectionism.

If you constantly value work that is perfectly presented over work that is done, it might be time to move your boundaries on perfect. Remember that the pursuit of perfection (where it takes time to tweak, change and make things perfect) is at odds with the need to get it done and delivered.

At this point in the year, finding the delicate balance between perfection and delivery is important.

 

Manage Energy – not Time…

Energy levels fluctuate throughout the day. Early risers might find that they’re at their most productive and alert early in the morning. For night owls, the opposite is true.

Regardless of when you’re most productive, always choose to do your most important tasks when your energy levels are at their best. Your productivity should rise, as a result.

 

It’s late in the year and we’re all weary.

I’m choosing to take strength from the Springboks recent World Cup win and I’m not giving up until the finish line is crossed.

Join me in ending 2019 with a strong sprint – not a slow walk (into oblivion).

Good luck! #FinishStrong

 

Oct 23
Work and Life: Is Balance Really the Goal?

331511-P9Y05M-466.jpgAuthor: Georgina Barrick

My maternity leave is coming to an end.

And, even though I've (mostly) worked through it, making myself available for key meetings and calls, I admit to being a little daunted at the prospect of juggling full-time work and full-time mothering. 

Work is a necessity. As a single parent and the only bread winner in our little family, I don't have the luxury of staying at home. But, like for many of us, work is also one of my happy places, where I feel valued, contribute and make a difference. Work is a large part of my identity, shaping how I view myself and my place in the world. And I really enjoy it.

But, there's now a tiny human in my life, who has completely taken over my heart. A human who needs time, love and nurturing to unlock his true potential. And I love that too.

So, how do I balance two competing forces that both demand my all? How do I continue to give my best to my work and my family? And, how do I ensure that I don't fail anyone – my team, my son or myself?

 

Speaking to other working parents, I'm know I'm not alone.

Many have shared their stories, from dealing with tiny, crestfallen faces when they miss dinner/ sports days or the school play (again!) to tales of missed deadlines and Skype calls that go awry when children intervene. Who can forget the sight of Professor Robert Kelly's wife scrambling to remove their children from the room where his BBC interview was taking place?

The dilemma of how to give your best in both spaces is a challenge that we all face – and, luckily, one that many are willing to share insight on.

As I return to full-time work, I'm trying to incorporate these sage bits of advice into my own life…

Imbalance is unavoidable…

I've been told that one of the ways to deal with it effectively is to shift your mindset away from 'all or nothing'. Understand that achieving balance isn't about keeping all aspects of your life in equal proportion – like a tightrope. It's more like a see-saw – when one end is up, the other is down. So, rather than trying to balance my life daily, I'm going to try to ensure that, in the longer term, each part of my life gets a turn to be 'up' for a bit.

 

Focus on what's important

While many things will compete for my time, I should only do those that are important to me. This means that I will have to track my time – and edit, delegate or discard the extraneous.

Get up early. Do more in a lunch hour. Work after the children are in bed. There are many ways to squeeze productive time into a day. Learn to say 'no'. Don't volunteer for the PTA or serve on a(nother) work committee. I know that, if I stop doing things out of guilt, I will open up opportunities for activities that bring me joy.

 

Ditch the guilt…

No-one is perfect. I know that I can't do it all. Something has to give. I will miss soccer games, meetings or deadlines. As long as I've chosen to do the most important thing in that moment, I'm going to try to ditch the guilt.

 

Rely on others..

Build teams at home and at work.

At work, lighten your workload by giving others the opportunity to be successful. Delegate – and, if you can't – collaborate. You'll still get credit, but won't have to work as hard.

Build your support structure at home. Find a good nanny, let grandparents help out (if possible) and rope in friends (if you can). I know that it's important to feel comfortable that my child is well-cared for while I'm working – and good support is the only way to achieve this.

Plan (everything)…

Some of my friends set up weekly or monthly meal plans. Many fill 'gift drawers' so that they don't have to rush out to buy last minute party gifts. Most use online shopping for basics. The common thread in all of these life hacks is planning. As a working parent, I know that I need to plan my time like a military operation – so that I can show up and be present to my team, even when I have a sick child at home or have had no sleep.

Aim for work/ life satisfaction…

Perhaps the most powerful insight that I've received is that, if we really explore what makes us happy, we often realise that it's not about finding balance. Rather, we're looking to be satisfied in both our personal and professional lives. Satisfaction comes from finding a way to shift the balance from work to home (and back) seamlessly.

For some, that might mean negotiating flexibility at work to spend more time at home. For others, it could mean setting boundaries and learning to say no. For most, it's about prioritizing self-care. I'm taking time to find out what work/ life satisfaction means to me – and am hoping that, if I know what it is, I'll be more likely to spot the red flags and readjust, when necessary.

 

And so, I'm heading back to work. I'm hoping that, with time, I will find my own personal work/ life satisfaction. I wish it for you too.

'It's not wrong to be passionate about your career. When you love what you do, you bring that stimulation back to your family.'

Allison Pearson


Sep 27
Motherhood… It’s Time for a Little Truth

Baby.jpgAuthor: Georgina Barrick

This year, I became a mother.

Unlike any other life role that I've taken on, motherhood is one that I now know I really couldn't adequately prepare for. Sure, I read a few parenting books, babysat nephews and godchildren and spent loads of time with friends and their children. I even spent a year, post degree, working as an au pair. Yet, nothing could fully prepare me for being 100% responsible for my own tiny human.

A tiny little human who I couldn't communicate with conventionally - and who definitely had his own ideas about how things would work.

Motherhood is a job where you have all of the responsibility, but none of the control.

It's completely life-changing – in many ways.

The rush of love – and responsibility – that you feel for your child is indescribable. Watching a little human grow, learn about the world and blossom in your care is truly one of life's best and most wonderful experiences.

And, then there's the tough stuff…

The broken sleep. The relentless drudgery of bottles, nappies and trying to settle into a routine. Feeling like your old life (with personal free time, interesting conversations and spontaneity) is gone. Trying to balance work deadlines with infant needs. Meeting friends in the brief window between sleeps and feeds. Dealing with the sheer 'messiness' of baby stuff all over the house.

Add to this the fact that you're often so tired and so inexperienced that each mistake feels like you've ruined all hope that your child will turn out all right. It's no wonder so few of us feel like we're really nailing this motherhood thing (especially in the early days).

There is no doubt that, as rewarding as motherhood is, it's one of the toughest jobs I've ever had (especially as a single parent). With the benefit of hindsight (and a bit of distance), I can say that the early months were mind-numbingly boring, emotionally draining and physically exhausting.

 

What strikes me, though, is that it's often impossible to tell that other mothers are also struggling. No-one really wants to talk about how hard motherhood actually is, making it feel that it's like 'Fight Club' for mothers.

Even my own Instagram is full of beautifully curated 'Mom and baby' images, with gorgeous, blow-dried hair and not a baby vomit stain in sight. When I'm out shopping, all of the Moms that I see appear so calm and 'together'. In baby groups, we seldom talk about how sleep-deprived we are, lest we look like 'that' mother who, in the sea of calm, just isn't coping.

As a group, it seems almost impossible to let down our guard and have a really 'no-holds barred' conversation about how ill-prepared we are and just how overwhelming it can feel to swop the boardroom for the baby group.

Because, that would be complaining – or admitting that we aren't perfect. Which would be unacceptable. Simply put, being truthful about how we feel makes us vulnerable to others thinking that we're a bad Mum.

Let's be honest.

So much of motherhood is about just winging it. There are parts of it that stink (often literally!).

I've gone from being my own boss to being completely at the mercy of the whims and desires of my son. I've had to accept that I'll never come first again. I'll never have the crispiest piece of chicken skin, eat the last sweet or get to lick the cake icing bowl because he'll do or get those things now.

But, in accepting this, I've learned that motherhood is the ultimate lesson in selfless leadership.

As a mother, I simply cannot be selfish or self-centred. As I've settled into the role and let go of my old way of life, my focus has shifted towards facilitating the success of my child. I'm starting to understand that I can use my power for the benefit of the little person who now follows my lead. And, this has led me into thinking about how I can model the right behaviour to help him become successful, kind and self-aware – and empower and uplift him.

Yes, at home, I'm now the leader with all of the responsibility and none of the control.

Yet, I've realised that this isn't about me anymore. It's about my child and how I can give service to the worthy cause of raising him to be a good human being.

And, that's what motherhood is really about for me now.

As Jessica Lange said..

'The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness. When you become a mother, you are no longer the centre of your own universe. You relinquish that position to your children.' #truestory

 

 

 

 


Aug 16
Let It Go: Emotional (And Physical) Baggage is Bad for Your Health

balloon-3206530_960_720.jpg

Author: Georgina Barrick

Recently, I (like many of my contemporaries) have helped my elderly parents move out of the home that they inhabited for almost a lifetime. To call the process fraught would underestimate the toll it took on all of us. For nearly 40 years, my parents lived, loved and experienced life in this house, collecting memories – and stuff.
Sorting through it, this detritus of a lifetime, and watching my parents unable to let it go, was a powerful lesson for me, forcing me to look at how we all carry baggage (both physical and emotional) that weighs us down. Letting go of this baggage can set us free…

We all carry personal baggage.
For some of us, this baggage is physical. Like magpies, we pick up, collect and fill up our spaces with things that bring us joy or that we know we’ll ‘use someday’ and believe we simply can’t do without. And, as it fills up our lives, this stuff brings comfort – a physical safety blanket.
Others carry emotional baggage. The unresolved past emotional traumas, issues and stresses that occupy our minds and spill over, colouring all of our new experiences or encounters – and giving rise to prolonged feelings of guilt, regret, shame, anger, fear or stress. It’s the critical inner voice constantly telling us that we’re not good enough or can’t change the outcome.
While we might not all hoard stuff, we certainly all carry some form of emotional baggage. 

Like an overfull backpack, emotional baggage cannot be contained indefinitely.
It overflows, impacting the carefully crafted new reality that we’ve created for ourselves.
Sometimes, it manifests physically, causing health issues like unexplained back pain, headaches or stomach problems. Prolonged stress is a known trigger for cancer and heart disease.
Emotional baggage can also become a barrier to making healthy lifestyle changes. If we’ve dealt with past trauma by developing bad habits – like smoking, binge drinking or comfort eating – it can be really hard to break the pattern and stop. And, carrying our personal perceptions of past (bad) experiences into our relationships or workplace can negatively impact our connection to others or prejudice our career ambitions.  

So, how do we ‘unload our backpack’ and slip out from under our emotional baggage?

Understanding…
The first step towards letting go of emotional baggage is to understand it – and what caused it.
Think deeply about situations that have upset you, made you feel uncomfortable or stirred up negative emotion. Try to identify what made you upset – be it unexpressed feelings of hurt, unresolved anger, regret or grief. If these feelings haven’t been allowed to run their course, they’ll hang around, repeatedly causing issues in your life. 
You may need to talk to a therapist or trusted friend for help with this process.

Accept…
The ability to understand the reality of a situation, without needing to fight it or change the outcome, is acceptance. If we’re able to look at a negative experience without emotion or expectation and view it pragmatically, we remove our need to be tied to changing the outcome – and can start the process of acceptance.

Forgive…
We’re human – and we make mistakes. We all feel guilt, regret and shame over our actions – but, sometimes, we hang onto these feelings as a way to punish ourselves.
And, while we can neither change the past nor predict the future, we can let these feelings go and forgive ourselves (and others). Accept your choices. Learn from your mistakes. Own your truth. Stop the retroactive self-judgement. Remember that you’ve done good and can be proud of the many positive things that you have done in your life.

Channel Your Anger…
Often, we’re taught that being angry is bad and that, when someone wrongs us or we observe injustice, we should ‘turn the other cheek’. But, hanging onto anger can be deleterious. 
Allow yourself time to rant or cry. If you can, explain your anger to the person who caused it. Understand your role in the situation and determine whether you could have done anything better.
Channelling your anger positively can be very empowering. 

Be Mindful…
Sometimes, we are so caught up in our past experiences that we forget to simply be – to live right now. Practising mindfulness involves accepting your thoughts and feelings, without judgement. To be mindful is to live in the present moment, rather than reliving the past or imagining the future.

Declutter…
If your baggage is more physical, than emotional, it’s important to make time to declutter.
As good place to start is with Marie Kondo, the Japanese organisation expert, who created a system for simplifying and organising your home by getting rid of physical items that do not bring you joy. Kondo believes that, to thrive creatively, your home should be filled only with items that you cherish.

Whether your baggage is physical, emotional or both, letting it go can set you free. 
And, ensuring that you don’t allow emotional baggage to overwhelm your life going forward is a good goal. 

‘Choose not to be harmed and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed and you haven’t been.’
Marcus Aurelius

Georgina Barrick, MD of Cassel&Co and The Working Earth, all divisions of ADvTECH Resourcing (Pty) Ltd. Georgina has over 25 years of recruitment and executive search experience.

Jul 23
The Certainty of Uncertainty

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Author: Georgina Barrick

Death and taxes. Life’s only two absolute certainties, according to Benjamin Franklin.
Human beings have lived with uncertainty for millennia – which doesn’t mean that we’ve got anymore used to it. 
Quite the opposite, in fact. But, in uncertain times like these, the only thing that’s certain is that more uncertainty lies ahead. We can’t change, manage or control this. But, we can moderate our response to it…

We live in an age of unprecedented uncertainty, where everything seems unpredictable.
Since 2008, the global economy has been shaky, susceptible to shock and lacking in resilience. 
We’re working harder and longer than before, often for less. Political upheaval is the norm – think Brexit, global trade wars and a world leader who governs by Twitter. The effects of climate change are widespread and frankly scary – flooding, drought, our beleaguered oceans. 
Social media makes us more connected than we’ve ever been. Yet, we’ve never been more disconnected from what really matters. And, as a result, many of us are suffering the effects of stress-induced illness. Mental illness in the workplace seems on the rise.
Most days, merely consuming the news requires a deep breath and a stiff drink. 

Yet, as the world becomes more unpredictable, we’re mostly coping – and many of us are thriving. It’s true that periods of massive change, while alarming, also create opportunity.
Uncertainty induces anxiety, stress and frustration. But, it also brings challenge, which leads to growth, satisfaction and strength. It’s cliched, I know, but challenge helps us understand that our limits aren’t limiting and, out of this understanding, we build resilience and become open to possibility. 
So, how do we get this right?

Acknowledge that uncertainty is a part of life…
Total certainty is an illusion. We’d like to believe that we have total control over what lies ahead. But, the truth is that, while we have some control, it’s far from total. Accepting that uncertainty is a natural part of life – and doesn’t necessarily mean that things are going wrong – can help to ease our anxiety around change.

Understand that uncertainty doesn’t (always) equal a bad outcome…
If you’re a worrier (and many of us are), it’s likely that you mostly equate uncertainty with a bad outcome. However, ‘bad’ is just one of a few possible outcomes – along with ‘neutral’, ‘good’ and ‘excellent’.  
You could accept a new job that turns out to be a bad career move. It’s also possible that a new job could energise your career and expose you to new learning. 
Try to steer clear of ‘better the devil you know’ thinking and be open to all outcomes. 

Control what you can…
So much of life is out of our control. 
We can’t single-handedly grow the global economy or rein in the bad behaviour of world leaders. 
However, this doesn’t mean that we have no influence over how life pans out. 

Rather than focusing on what you can’t control (which heightens anxiety), focus on what you can. 
Or, as the Serenity Prayer says, accept the things you can’t change and have courage to change what you can – while hoping for the wisdom to know the difference. 

A good idea is to start by determining whether you have ‘no control’, ‘some control’ or ‘total control’ over what is making you anxious. Then, focus only on what is in your control. 
Another idea is to take action and, in small ways, give yourself options. Learn a new skill, monetise your hobby, save money or network to build new contacts. Small shifts can make a big difference and give you options (and breathing space).  

Take care of yourself…
It should go without saying that, in a stressful world, self-care is vital. 
Make time for exercise. Get good sleep. Meditate. Seek out support. 
If you’re running on empty, it’s very hard to see the wood from the trees.

In a world where uncertainty is the only certainty, it’s still possible to thrive. As Eckhart Tolle said, ‘When you become comfortable with uncertainty, infinite possibilities open up in your life.’
May you be open to possibility.

Georgina Barrick, MD of Cassel&Co and The Working Earth, all divisions of ADvTECH Resourcing (Pty) Ltd. Georgina has over 25 years of recruitment and executive search experience.

Jun 19
Honesty: The Lonely Word

magnifying-glass-1607160_960_720.jpgAuthor: Georgina Barrick 

I’ve always been passionate about truth, honesty and transparency.

So, listening to the Zondo Commission findings, watching all of the layers being peeled back and realising just how much we’ve been lied to, is sickening. From outright lies to the avoidance of the truth, we’re seeing the whole spectrum. 
But, I believe that truth is important – and will prevail. And, that it’s better to be honest from the outset…
 
Watching the recent coverage of the 75th anniversary of the D-Day landings, I was struck by the veterans’ stories. Alongside a recounting of what they had done on that fateful day, many spoke, with searing honesty, about the fear that they had felt and the horrors that they had witnessed.
Some mentioned that they were doing so to highlight the brutality of war, in the hope that future generations would learn a lesson and work to avoid conflict.
For me, their heart-breaking honesty was refreshing.

Today, we live in a world of untruths, fake news and hidden agendas. 
We seem to be bogged down in lies and corruption. Honesty is a rare commodity. A ‘lonely word’ as Billy Joel lamented. ‘Truth’ is whatever I (or social media) says it is. Images are photoshopped to hide the ugly truth. Politicians lie to serve their own best interests – and lie some more when the Zondo Commission finds them out. Corporations misstate results or use ‘spin’ to sell you a dream. Steinhoff, Enron, Thanos, Madoff – and, more recently, Tongaat Hulett – come to mind. 
Facts are immaterial, truth is inconvenient and honesty has suffered. 
And, we’re living with the consequences.

Without honesty, we have no trust, no transparency and no accountability.
It’s hard to build lives and companies without it. It’s impossible to deliver on promises made.
The ‘Silent Generation’ D-Day veterans would tell you that honesty is ‘the right thing to do’.
Billy Joel would say that it’s ‘mostly what I need from you’.
So, how do we cut through the ‘fake news’ noise and live (and work) with honesty and truth?

Practice (Radical) Honesty
It’s not always easy to be honest. Sometimes, it’s simpler (or it works in our favour) to keep quiet – like when a waitress forgets to charge us for a meal. But, truth matters – and it starts with the small things. 
Honesty builds transparency and trust. Make honesty a personal habit and foster a culture of honesty in your team. Reward transparency and come down hard on untruth. The road to transparency isn’t always straightforward and can be lined with criticism – but if you stay strong and have the courage to tell the truth, trust will follow.

Temper honesty with kindness. The bald truth can hurt, so how you deliver feedback is important. Be mindful of your delivery.

Own Your Mistakes
Tiger Brands learned this lesson the hard way. After CEO Lawrence MacDougall denied responsibility for the 2018 listeriosis outbreak, claiming that there was no direct link between any deaths and Enterprise Food products, the company lost R5.7 billion in value, spent R377 million on a product recall and is now facing a class action suit.
Take accountability for your actions and those of your employees. Remember that you’re accountable to your employees and that they rely on you to be honest – especially when you’ve made a mistake.
If you’ve messed up, get out in front and own the mistake. Apologise and make things right. 
Encourage your staff to own their mistakes by reframing mistakes as learning experiences. 

Also, stand up for what you know is right. If you witness improper behaviour, don’t keep quiet – even if speaking the truth puts you in the firing line. Remember that bad things happen when good people do nothing. 

Facts, Facts, Facts
Base your decisions on hard fact – not feelings. 
Decisions based on fact leave no room for misunderstanding and can be tracked and easily reviewed by all. So, stick to the facts – and encourage your staff to do the same.

Being honest isn’t always easy, popular or welcomed. 
But, at the end of the day, it’s all we really have to offer. Work hard to be a wo(man) of your word. You and the world around you will be better for it. 
Speak truth always. Stay strong.

Georgina Barrick, MD of Cassel&Co and The Working Earth, all divisions of ADvTECH Resourcing (Pty) Ltd. Georgina has over 25 years of recruitment and executive search experience.
 
May 16
Stick to Your Knitting - Or Not!

Facebook post 2 20.jpgAuthor: Georgina Barrick

Have you ever been presented with an opportunity that, on the surface, looks like a really good idea? The concept is fresh. The numbers are solid. It could open up new growth streams. The only issue is that it would require a shift off your company’s core focus. Do you, as Richard Branson would say, ‘screw it, let’s do it’? Or, do you walk away?

Single malt whisky. Single origin coffee and chocolate. Accountants and Recruiters who understand the intricate rules and workings of their specialist niches. Orthopaedic surgeons who only operate on hips or shoulders. Gone are the days when to be a ‘jack of all trades’ was prized. 
Today, we live in the age of hyper-specialisation.

It’s said that the further you venture away from your core focus, the greater the risk. 
Get it right – like Apple or Netflix – and you can create new revenue streams that may, with time, overtake your current core business. Apple did this with the launch of iTunes, shifting focus from hardware to services and spawning the legal music download industry. Today, the company makes more from Services ($10.9 billion last quarter alone) than many of its other business segments. Netflix’s move from streaming to content creation (think ‘Stranger Things’ and the ‘Queer Eye’ revival) reduced the company’s risk exposure by giving it complete control over (some) of the content on its platform.

But, get it wrong and you risk becoming distracted by the new initiative, leading to brand dilution, customer confusion, a drop in management focus and quality of offering, loss of target market share and, ultimately, lost revenue. Richard Branson’s Virgin brand has launched over 400 companies over the past 50 years (including music stores, airlines, alcohol and underwear businesses). Today, the privately-owned brand owns 60 around the world. 
  
So, in a world captivated by novelty, how do you balance your need for growth and innovation with your tolerance for risk? Or, put more simply, how do you identify the ideas that would mean real change for your business from those that are really just shiny new objects?

Explore your core… 
Start by fully understanding the opportunities available in your core business.
Is there potential for further growth in any of your business segments? Are there any ‘adjacencies’ (related business segments) that, if developed, could reinforce the strength of your core? Can you create new needs among your core customer base? Are there any internal functions – like talent acquisition – that you could outsource to free up time to focus on core issues? Make sure that you’ve wrung all that you can out of your core, before you make a move away from it.

Have a good reason…
Is your core business reaching saturation point, with limited growth opportunities? Is there a disruptive technology breaking into your space that’s forcing you to rethink strategy? Would you be ‘early to market’ with a non-core concept and have the chance to snap up market share? 
Whatever is making you consider a break from core, ensure that your reasons are sound – and grounded in fact, not emotion.

Gather data…
‘Screw it, let’s do it’ might work for Richard Branson, but it certainly doesn’t cut the mustard with shareholders. Take time to educate yourself about the new initiative and its impact on your core business. Assess the risks, potential outcomes and competencies you’ll need to manage both.
Before taking the leap, it’s important to ask the hard questions and gather all of the data.

Test the idea to minimise risk…
Is there a way to test the new concept, with minimal risk? Form a new business, with separate branding, resources and office space, to try out the idea. Steer clear of areas where you lack expertise or where the market is flooded with players who have the specialised skills that you’re missing. Do everything that you can to prevent diluting your focus, energy and accountability.
That way, if the idea fails, your core business is protected. 

Set clear goals and accountabilities…
Before you start, set realistic goals (including measures of success) for the new venture. 
Make sure that your staff is clear about what needs to be achieved in your core business – and who is minding the store. Someone needs to be accountable for keeping everyone’s eye on the ball. 

Business growth involves taking calculated risk. 
The choice whether to drive growth from within your core business or stray outside of it sits with you – which is both a burden and blessing. Whatever you decide, choose wisely.

Georgina Barrick, MD of Cassel&Co and The Working Earth, all divisions of ADvTECH Resourcing (Pty) Ltd. Georgina has over 25 years of recruitment and executive search experience.

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